How to Please Men or What Turns Men On

This article follows the one I wrote last year entitled HOW TO PLEASE WOMEN which received mixed reviews from those claiming expertise in the subject of SEXOLOGY.  Based on my past experience and having seen, heard and read answers from respected sexologists, clinical psychologists and certified sex therapists such as the diminutive Dr. Ruth Westheimer, Drs. Lonnie Barbach, Ava Cadell and Judith Kuriansky just to name a few, I have concluded that not too many women know how to please men or know what turns men on.  Oh sure when I was 22 it did not take much to turn me on.  A little leg here and there, a little cleavage, a finely tuned rounded butt were enough to “open the flood gates” so to speak.  But as time flew by, sex partners became more available, less challenging, so turning me on became more challenging to my playmates.  Admit it or not, I am sure you guys out there are not the same men you were 20 years ago.

So it is no wonder that many women are asking WHAT TURNS MEN ON?  They want their men to perform and they want to please their men.  They want their men to be happy.  They want to raise their men up to heights they have never arisen before.  Kudos to these unselfish women.  But what disappoints me are the answers from these so called experts who lack expertise in male sexuality even after years of academic study and clinical practice.  Just check out some of their answers:   “look into his eyes and tell him you love him….that is enough to turn him on” – Dr. Westheimer.  “Turning him on lies between his two ears not between his two legs” – Dr. Kuriansky.  Come now, those are the biggest cop-out answers I have ever heard.

So now, back to my situation.  A week before Christmas, an attractive female officemate asked me to have drinks with her after work because she wants to talk about “something”.  We first started talking about mundane things but after the second drink, she blurted out between sobs that her boyfriend was cheating on her.  “Why does this happen to me all the time?” she asked, “when I am so giving and I do everything for him.  Can’t men ever be monogamous?  Can’t they be faithful to just one girl?  Maybe I was too easy and I am no longer a challenge for him so he pursued someone else who may be harder to get…….”  At this point I felt she needed a hug so what the hell, I let her cry on my shoulder even though the bartender was looking at us.  I suggested maybe a stronger drink but she declined because she is driving, so we ordered another round of black and tan.  Then I felt it was my turn to ask the questions.  “What do you mean you are so giving and you do everything for him? “  I asked.  “You know, everything.  I am so giving.”  And she describes it in more detail.  “Do you let him give back?  Do you let him return the favor?”  I asked.  She answered, “Yes.  But I am Asian so I act more reserved and more demure.”  “Well” I said, “then I think I found the problem”.  “What turns men on is knowing that they are turning you on”.

Yes my female friends out there, the secret for turning a man on is “KNOWING THAT HE IS PLEASING THE WOMAN”.  There is no greater turn on for a man than to hear a partner moan and groan to his “touch”, or to hear her say how much she is enjoying “it”.  That is the reason men always ask if their partners have achieved orgasms.  On the other hand, it is a turn-off for most men if a woman just lies there like a dead fish or acts as if she is just doing him a favor.  The “Let’s get it over with attitude” is not conducive to a hot love-making session.

Back to my officemate.  I told her to call me just to make sure she got home safely which she did.  We talked for a while because she needed more explicit instructions and she promised to give it her best efforts so as to win back her boyfriend.  She has been on vacation since then and I can only hope everything is going well, but if not, I made it clear to her that I am always ready and willing to be of help.

Any opinions and views expressed herein are the sole responsibility of the writer.

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